How to Drive Me Nuts

I'm linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions again today. Today I'm laying it all out there, because I'm going to tell you all of the things that drive me INSANE! And yes, I'm fully aware that after you read these you will probably think I'm a huge bitch. In reality - I am. Once I am comfortable with you, I tell it like it is - every single time. My dad once told my brother that I hated my roommate. My brother quickly questioned him because I lived alone. My dad said, "exactly." 

>>> when stopped at a stoplight, don't keep inching forward, getting closer and closer to the car in front of you. Newsflash - you aren't going anywhere until the damn light changes. Just sit there!

>>> USE YOUR BLINKER. Don't be an asshole.

>>> don't make noise when you breathe. If I'm sitting next to you at a meeting, I will have to restrain myself from slapping you. If you need to blow your nose or clear your throat, please do so, and stop making noise!

>>> this goes with clicking pens constantly. I'm not above grabbing the pen out of your hand and not letting you have it back.

>>> If you want to help with chores, fine, but you better wash your hands before you put away my clean dishes, otherwise don't bother. You also better was your hands after touching anything gross (trash) before you touch anything else in my house. And don't worry - if you can't remember I will remind you. 

>>> Do NOT put the laundry basket on the bed. That basket has been all over the house, and may have made a trip to the laundry mat. Don't put all those germs on my bed.

>>> Don't stand in the kitchen and expect me to hold a conversation with you while I'm cooking. You want a delicious meal? Then get the fuck out of the kitchen and enjoy the appetizers out in the living room.

>>> The smell of coffee grounds. I've learned to tolerate the smell of coffee, but the grounds afterwords - gag me! I just can't stand it. 

>>> Vomit talk. One of my biggest fears is vomit. Doesn't matter if it's me or someone else - I hate vomit. I don't want to talk about it, I don't think it's funny, and I don't need to see it on TV. When vomit is involved, I check out.

>>> Talk about a pet passing, and how Cooper is getting old. Do you think I don't know that?! I fully realize it and think about it often - I don't need you to remind me!

I think I'll leave it at that today. And although I sound (and am) super bitchy, I'm really not THAT bad. What are you confessing to?